Where has the time gone?

On November 5th 2009 we officially adopted ABCD Drake and she is now Abi Kay Stephens. She is such a blessing ( although a challenge as well) in our life. We could not imagine our lives without her. It is three months shy of her third birthday . What a journey it has been.





We had Halloween and got WAY too much candy. IT sure was fun going around with the kids though. Nathan and Brooke even came with us. Eva just hung out in the stroller while the boys took turns pulling the Little ones in the wagon. Good times!
WE carved lots of Pumpkins.
One for each of the kids. 7 little pumpkins graced our porch.
Abi and Jorge weren't much into the "cleaning out" part.

Can't say as I blame them. It is slimy and stinky!


Fall is a wonderful time. Cooler weather . Lots of outside play time. Falling leaves. And LOTS of family activities.

These are a few of my favorite times......

Bed time, and nap time, and bed time, and nap time.

Is that bad that I look forward to those times?? I hope not, because some days I SOOO look forward to them. With 4 5 and under who all have their own little issues, some days it's all I can do to keep it all together. When they are asleep, they are so cute!! so innocent and sweet.
They aren't unrolling the toilet paper, Coloring themselves with marker,
Feeding the dog fruit snacks ( that she will later barf up) , filling all the play dishes and kitchen with water there-by soaking the carpet in the playroom, cutting someones hair, asking me five hundred times Where is Abi? Is that Abi? .......Can I have a snack ?
Or how about flooding the kitchen floor with cups of water that they can fill up from the refrigerator dispenser, whining and crying and

"He touched me, She scratched me, she has my toy. "

It really is a constant flurry of activity ... Unless they are ASLEEP.

Before you get your panties in a wad, Yes, we love them,

but gosh some days don't you just look forward to 8:00???

Maybe that's just me.

Back to School...

Well it's been about a month, but it's been a crazy and a good one.

Tyler is a junior at Shadow Ridge and Kyle is a freshman at NWCTA, Kayla started Middle school and Serra started kindergarten.MR J is in PRe-K which is in the afternoon I might add.(Serra is in the morning)

Needless to say, WE have to get two boys to two different seminaries by 6 am.Thank heavens for friends and carpools! Kayla has to be to her bus by 7:20 Serra between 8:45 and 9:00. Serra gets out at 11:30 and Mr J goes at 12:40. Kyle gets off his bus at 1:42 and Tyler at 1:47 . They can walk home, although they don't really like it. Kayla has to be picked up at 2:30 and MR J 's bus brings him home at 3:20.

Then we start , piano, Hollywood kids, scouts, activity days , meetings, etc etc etc.....

Thank Heavens for an awesome husband who has really been try ing to be more engaged in helping with all of this, and has been a GREAT help!

In between all that we have doctors, Therapies, grocery shopping and all the other Little errands. Some days it is just mind boggling to keep it all in line, but for the most part, we are surviving it all. Our children are such a blessing and I know all too soon they will be gone ,and we only have this brief time to be a part of their lives and help them to learn and to grow .

Although MR Wesley says we just keep getting more, so we will never be out of kids!!!!

WE will be going to kindergarten when we are 70. Well , maybe not, we just take it one day at a time, and try to do what Heavenly Father needs us to do. For right now, it is taking in more children and providing them with the best family life that WE can.

Grateful for a priesthood holder

I wanted to write about this after Sunday, but with Back to school and everything, it just didn't happen.
WE have a freshman and a junior at two different High schools and two different seminaries. Kayla started 6th grade ( middle school) Serra is in morning Kindergarten, and Mr J is in afternoon Pre-k. That is just school, then we have piano, musical theatre, Ovation, scouts, activity days, foster parent meetings etc.

Anyway, on the Sunday before school starts, my husband gives our children a fathers blessing. IT was very touching to see him exercise his priesthood and authority as their father to pronounce a blessing , individually for each child. Even MR J and ABi wanted to have a blessing from dad. Abi doesn't sit still for much of anything, but she sat quietly through her whole blessing. Even though MR J is only three, I think he could feel the spirit and know that we loved him, as well as his Heavenly Father. How grateful I am for a husband who honors his priesthood and is able to bless our children's lives in such a simple way.
We are not a perfect family by any means, and we have many things to learn in our blended family and as we work with these special children, but it is wonderful to have the blessings of the gospel and to be able to share that with those who come into our home... for however long.

My "real " mom

WE faced a tough hill this week with our little Serra. Somehow the conversation came up regarding "coming out of mommy's tummy" Now we have had the adoption discussion before on many occasions, but she still referenced herself as coming out after Kayla.

I explained again that she did not come out of my tummy, but that her mommy could not take care of her and we "chose to have her be part of our family" Usually this pacifies her, and off she goes.

This time was different she sat for a moment then said
" My real mommy wouldn't tell me what to do"
My initial reaction was well, this mommy loves you and I will tell you what you need to do.( she is 4 turning 12)
Then today in a session with her PSR ( psycho social rehab counselor) as we were discussing this, she said " you only take care of your real children, not me"

Even though this is not true, it really hurt, that she would feel that way. I am not quite sure how she even gets that, since so much of my time and energy is taken up with her and the other foster kids. I guess I always knew that these types of conversations would come up, and we would have issues to face with her adoption, but I don't think I was quite as prepared as I thought.

We had our last appointment with our adoption worker this week, and hope to get a court date for ABI's adoption in the next 30-45 days. We love her to death, but it is a little scary to approach this again seeing what we have been through with Serra. There is no way to predict the outcome with the drug and alcohol exposure that these children have faced.
In those quiet moments when I ponder all of this, I am reminded that these are Heavenly Fathers precious little spirits that he has sent to us. Not in the traditional way, but he has entrusted them to us, and he has carried us through some very difficult times, and I have to hold on to the faith that he will carry us through any others that we face, because we certainly can't do it alone.

WE have a velociraptor in our house

Lately we have had the piercing screeching noise that occurs frequently in our house, and we have finally realized that a velociraptor has moved into the nursery upstairs. Abi or otherwise known as the velociraptor( is that how you spell it?) will let out the curdling screech to alert oyu of any misfortune or intrusion on her behalf. IT is a good thing she is so cute, because it is really rather annoying.
WE could be enjoying a nice some quiet time or watching TV and there it is again, it swoops in without any warning.

Maybe we need a paleantologist?

Brother of the year award

This past weekend, we took our kids all 8 of them,

and one girlfriend out to the lake.

(Lake mead for those of you not from Vegas).

Just orchestrating all the kids and the paraphernalia that comes with them was a feat in itself. Dad and three of them went out the night before , then Nathan and his girlfriend, and myself and the four little ones came out at 7 am. Which means we had to be up, dressed and ready to embark at 6 am. Yikes!!Anyway we made it and headed out to our sandy beach location to play. Serra who has to go to the bathroom wherever we go, began the potty dance. We instructed her on the hike to find an appropriate "outhouse". After I took her to the "outhouse" through the hot sand up the rocks and over behind the little mountain, she did her thing, and insisted she did not need to go POO.

I said "ARE YOU SURE???

Yes mom, so we made the trek back,

where she took her shoes back off ( even though they are water shoes) Not 10 minutes later, she is racing back and forth down the beach holding her rear.

Obviously she did need to go POO!!

She started up the hill and rocks, when she realized the ground is about 500 degrees. AS the dance became more intense, Tyler grabbed her shoes, and said I'll go help her.** Big brother to the rescue** ( I was feeding the baby) As he came back, I suggested he take her a napkin (to wipe) HE was thrilled, and headed off up the hill and rocks and around the corner, with no shoes.

MUCH later they descend from the "outhouse" with Serra holding her underwear( thank heavens she left that on).

Tyler informed us she did not make it in time. HE helped her do her business, and clean up the best they could.

HE deserves the brother of the year award for that little service project. Just what a 16yr old wants to do on his lake trip. Is there a merit badge for that?

Anyway, besides some sunburns. We had a great time, and look forward to going again. Maybe we need to bring a POTTY!!

SHHH The baby is Beeping!!

Kids say the funniest things sometimes. Abi is starting to really talk alot now.
We really can understand alot of it even. But this one is so funny. She can't say SLEEPING, it comes out Beeping. So when ever anyone is "sleeping" , she will instruct us....

SHHHH the baby is Beeping!!!

Enjoy the ride

As I reflect over the last 5 1/2 years of fostering, I realize how busy I have been. Some days, I really just want to go sit down and read a good book, or sit outside on the swing and enjoy the beautiful surroundings.( I don't have a swing anymore, so I guess that doesn't matter anyway)

When we were commanded to be "anxiously engaged in a good cause" I think I took that very literally.
For instance tomorrow my day will probably start about 5:30 am when Mr J and Abi decide to get up with the roosters. I will try and convince them it is still night time and they need to go back to sleep, but I don't think they will buy it since it is getting light by then. WE will do breakfast and feed the baby and get everyone ready so we can be at Piano by 8:45 then go back to pick them up and drop off Tyler and Kayla to get Kyle to the Dentist by 10. We have to hope the dentist is on time because we have to be back in time for occupational therapy for Mr J and Serra by 11:45. WE will make lunch some time in there get a grouchy Abi down for a nap along with the baby. We will finish with that at about 2 just in time to Rush Tyler off to his rehearsal that starts at 2. Then take Mr J and Kayla to the dentist at 3.
Yes, the same one we were at this morning, although I choose not to take 7 kids to the dentist at the same time so we split it up.
Hopefully we will be home by 5. Maybe it will be pizza for dinner.
Kyle then has to be to scouts by 6:30 and Tyler has to be picked up by 8. We will squeeze in a few baths, and when is it NAP TIME??? Oh I forgot Kyle has to be picked up from scouts.

I hope this doesn't scare anyone away from this wonderful adventure. Your schedule could be entirely different.
WE just happen to have 7 kids at home . Even though they each only have a few things, a few times 7 is ALOT!!! We have some very bright and talented kids and it is important to allow them to pursue their dreams and passions . It allows them to learn a good work ethic, commitment and time management.

It is also important for the children we take in, to do everything in our power to help them normalize and stabilize form the trauma they have experienced. Usually it is temporary as they progress. So we just try to hang on and enjoy the ride. sometimes you just get them stabilized in time to move on, and then you start over with the next ones.

It is probably one of the most difficult things we have done, but also the most rewarding.
These are precious little spirits that Heavenly Father needs someone to help where he can't.

The unseen wounds

When someone has a broken leg, or arm or some outward ailment, you can see the wound and act accordingly. You can see the trauma evidently. With so many of the children we deal with , and many in life I am sure , this is not the case.

From the outside they look perfectly "normal" What is that anyway??
The damage and deep wounds from trauma are very lasting.
I recently took a training on the effects of domestic violence on the fetuses of abused women.
Of course it makes perfect sense. WE play music for our children in utero right?? So why would they not be aware of the abuse that was happening to ...them . Sometimes it is things they have seen as they were a little older. Sometimes it is the effects of all the substances they were exposed to. Whatever the abuse or neglect, it has lasting effects.
The challenge for us, is to give them the support and love they need to get through it, or sometimes just deal with it.
WE have to change our mindset to see them as a child that has lots of "hurts and owies" even though the bandages are not visible.
Many of us as adults carry similar hurts that we cover well too. Well, maybe not always...
Have you ever had the grouchy check out clerk??
The lady in the doctors office we just can't seem to get a handle on her kids??

Maybe they have some wounds that we can't see. Maybe they are dealing with some challenges.
Heavenly father taught us that unconditional perfect love that we should extend to others. Instead of judging them, is there something you can do to help?
Maybe a smile??
Having these children is a great challenge sometimes. It is hard to understand why they behave the way they do. It's hard to be patient sometimes, or maybe lots of times, but we just have to keep trying. We have to be open to the promptings to find answers.
Maybe those answers will come form within, and maybe they will come from finding the right individuals( therapists, doctors etc.) who can help mend the broken pieces.

So much to do

IT has been a while since I have posted. Our two little guests went to some relatives at the end of April, Then I traveled out of town to a Foster parent conference. The weekend before I left was our 22 wedding anniversary, and thanks to Grandma, We got to spend a night away. WE stayed at a hotel here and went bowling and to a movie, then just "hung out" We even slept in until 8 o'clock. ( can't remember the last time I did that.)
For Dinner before we came home, we went to the Melting Pot.It was SOOO Good. Especially the chocolate! ( Can chocolate be bad???)

Anyway.... The Tuesday after I returned, we picked up two new little guests. A two month old girl and her almost three year old brother. Due to the trauma of their situation, it has been a little bit hectic.
Baby E doesn't scream so much anymore. My buddy J is finally starting to feel safe and comfortable, and has even started trying to communicate with us. We actually heard him laugh today. Good progress!!
I am so grateful for the glimpse that a loving Heavenly Father gives me each time we take another one of his precious little spirits into our home.
It also amazes me that he knows them and he guides us as to how we can best help them.
I pray for these little ones, and hope that those who are in authority over their situation will be prompted and follow those feelings to do what is best for these precious little children.

AS school is winding down, there are so many things to attend. Concerts, awards ceremonies, showcase performances. all added on to our already busy schedule.
I am grateful to my mom and sister who are so willing to step in and be part of our extended foster family to help us be everywhere we need to be.

It's the little things

Gabbi turned four .

When we have birthdays at our house, it is a special day.

You get your room decorated and there is usually some type of party.

*( although if you have a teenager like Tyler, you must be more specific on how many people you think are coming , or you will end up with a house full of 35 teenagers)

I don't know that Gabbi has ever really had a party for her. We had a pinata, lots of friends(cousins). Presents, games and cake & ice cream. Nothing really fancy, but to her, it was like heaven.

She was giddy and dancing all day "is this for me?" she would ask.

"Another present? " she responded . She proudly wore her crown and necklace for days.

Life as seen through the eyes of a child is really pretty simple.

What are we eating, can I go play ?

Can I have a hug?

We could all learn a lot.

Racing

Mr Wesley loves to race off road. Mrs. Wesley not so much!!

With allot of little ones running around, it is a bit of a challenge to pack everything and go out in the middle of the desert and keep them busy for 10 hours or so.They do like to play in the dirt, but that gets old after a while too.

Mostly it just depends on the circumstances and "who " we have with us. Four under the age of 5 is a little crazy but with just Serra & Abi adn a baby, it is much more do-able. As long as we have our own "facilities" anyway. **( I'll spare you the name of what they call "their facilities")

IF there are plently of cousins around that can help as well.

They really should find a place with less dirt for these races!

That's part of being a family though is we support each other in those things that matter most to us.

WE are creating memories and building relationships.

I just have to keep telling myself this!! How about the lake instead????

Mom Look a tattoo!!

It has been a while since I have had a minute to update our story here.

As you can see my little ones keep me on my toes.

I should have known there was a problem when they were quiet.

I thought they were just playing nicely upstairs so I could vacuum.

I think we only have one or two "permanent" markers in the house, but Abi seems to always locate them. Luckily our skin replaces itself frequently, so it only took a week or so for this to mostly go away.

I can't say as much for the wood banister though

This is when we are supposed to laugh right?????

Welcome Mr Tattle

With two four year olds and two two year olds in the house, we had tattling going on constantly. It was driving me crazy. I felt tlike I could not get through a half hour without

"Gabbi touched that"

Lele isn't eating"

"Abi is on the table"

" Serra didn't get her shoes on "etc etc.

One of my caseworkers gave me the idea of MR Tattle. ( see above)

Whenever there is an issue that just needs to be addressed, they can go tell Mr Tattle

ALL ABOUT IT !

At the end of the day, I get a compiled update of the days issues and address the masses of how we should try and do better .

Yes, I was like you, why would they go talk to a paper on the wall??

Well I don't exactly know why, but they do.

HALLELUJAH

Life is much better at our house since MR Tattle came to stay.

Now I can eat my cheerios in peace. Well maybe.... anyway

Lasting effects

Today we had a difficult day.
WE had to take Lele in to see a physical therapist for her foot.
Due to some neglect, and subsequent surgeries, so has allot of scarring, limited mobility, and walks only on her toes with that foot.
I can only imagine what is going on in her mind when she sees these doctors, and they try to come near her. Although this therapy place "looked" very fun with lots of toys around , no one "looked " like a doctor, she wanted NOTHING to do with it.
She began to whimper and latched onto my neck for dear life as we waited in the waiting room.
Then as we got out into the therapy center and MS Beth tried to talk to her she began to scream and kick and thrash around. We let her just cry it out and roll on the floor as we tried to show her some toys and calm her down, but it was not working. So that they could even see her foot, I had to literally wrestle with her to get her sock and shoe off . I again tried to just hold her and rock her as she just sobbed. IT was just heart wrenching to see her in such distress.
Even though what we were doing was trying to help her. This went on for over 20 minutes before she finally began to calm down. MS Beth patiently talked to her and tried to get her to relax. As she touched her foot to assess the situation, she again became very agitated.

It's hard to imagine such trauma in a young child's life and the lasting effects of those memories.
An hour later we had made it through, and She got her fruit snack for being so brave.
Now I just have to prepare myself to go through it again as we have to go back next week to be fitted for a brace for her foot. I am sure she will be thrilled.
I just pray Heavenly Father will help to ease the distress for her, and help to heal her tiny heart of all the abuse and neglect.

Do we become blind & deaf??

Have you ever wondered why it is that as soon as you get on the phone, that the children seem to get very loud, and do everything they know they are not supposed to??

Today I actually decided to CALL my sister instead of trying to decipher the code messages off of facebook.
They had been fed and changed and were peacefully( remarkable) playing, so I thought this would be a good time. No sooner had I said Hello when all hell broke loose. Serra is whacking Gabbi with a plastic tube, Lele and Abi are fighting over the dolls.( we only have 6 of them) they decide to run the grand prix circuit around the center of the house, and yell as loud as they can.
Even after excusing myself several times to address this, they then went upstairs and decided to hurl things off the balcony.

I think,... that they think ... we become deaf and blind when we are on the phone!!!

Who knew???

Motherhood is not for Wimps

After looking back over my posts, I realize that I have been kind of whining the last little while. IT is somewhat therapeutic to write in my blog, I can kind of vent about what is going on in my life, but I really don't mean to be so negative.
I saw a t-shirt not long a go that said "Motherhood is not for wimps" Ain't that the truth!! sorry kids" isn't". Anyway....
Most of the time, I seem to handle all that we have going on fairly well, with the occasional bad day, but this new placement has been pretty challenging. As well as add to that, the news last Monday that a very dear friend lost his battle with cancer after 11 months. It is a reminder of how fragile this life is, and that we should take advantage of every precious moment we have .

I am so privileged to be able to attend an institute class by Denae of .http://thebackorderedlife.blogspot.com/ and we talked last week in Philipians 2:13-15 about being blameless and harmless. This was such a great discussion for me of how important it is that we are good stewards of our actions. We may be "right", but that does not give us the license to be vengeful or spiteful, or mean.
AS I am usually "right" at my house.( Just ask my husband) I can sometimes be so caught up in being right that I am not charitable towards those who are in the wrong. IT is a classic example of reminding myself "what would Jesus do".

So that being said Mothers, when your teenager comes home with an F and a D on their report card, we can find that charitable side and help them find a better homework and study plan instead of giving the 1 hr long , finger pointing," I told you" lecture. OR when your four yr old has an accident in their pants for the 7Th time today we can go take a breather, and go change it and show them where the bathroom is one more time, in case they forgot.
Wimps... I think not.

I hate saturdays!!

I am escaping to my office from the usual saturday drudgery.
"Saturday is a special day it's the day we get ready for sunday"
It doesn't feel very special to me. Almost every saturday my husband is gone as usual, so I am left to do the chore wars. I have made charts, tried incentives, threatened and even cried, and most of the time it is the same. Adding little ones into the mix is certainly not helping I do admit.
The older ones are getting better, it's just the" let's see if she doesn't notice that I didn't clean the bottom of the toilet . You only sit on the seat right" or "I didn't know I had to empty that trash too? "
But trying to teach toddlers and four year olds to pick up their toys is a true lesson in patience, of which I do not seem to have much these days. IT is only 11 am and I have changed 5 poopy diapers (& pullups) fixed crepes, cleaned up a glass of milk off the floor, refereed two arguments, paid the payroll taxes I forgot to pay, reminded them for the fourth time that they have to vacuum their room too, answered some emails, cleaned my bathroom, started the laundry to wash the poopy clothes from the four year old who won't go on the potty and watered my plants. Stake conference is this weekend, and since it is a regional broadcast affecting the whole valley, there are no babysitters available, and I won't even be able to attend that tonight.
Does anyone have any good suggestions as to how to make Saturdays more enjoyable yet still teach my children the value of work and helping to maintain our home?

Frustration is a function of our expectations

Expectations... When things don't meet our expectations, that is when we become frustrated.

I keep telling myself this, but when you have a four year old that just makes the choice to poop in her pants instead of on the potty, I have a hard time with that.
She could have just been on the potty 5 minutes before that. I have an expectation, that is not being met, and I am struggling with this.
I have not quite figured out how to turn off the expectations.
I have two two year olds who throw tantrums and have trouble sharing. That is normal behavior and we are dealing with it, but these older ones are more difficult.
I always expect there to be a learning curve, but to stop doing what mommy asks, is pretty basic, and after two weeks we can't seem to figure that out.
YIKES!!! I think I might lose my mind.
I wish I could understand the psychology behind what is going on, maybe it would help me, but for now, I guess I will just vent on my blog , take a deep breath and keep plugging along.

I have another four year old that can't seem to eat without spilling SOMETHING, or can't get through half a day without whining about something, anything.
I know I expect allot from my children, even my foster children. It does them no good to go from an inconsistent environment into another environment with no structure or consistency.
I expect them to be able to go to the grocery store without screaming or destroying the store.
I expect them to learn to behave in a reverent manner at church, to say please and Thank you , put their dishes away when they finish, pick up their toys,follow mommy's directions etc.etc.
Is this unreasonable?
I want them to be able to grow up to be good mannered productive happy people. We have all seen those people who let their kids just run wild, and it affects everyone around them.
I don't want to not feel welcomed to go visiting teaching at somoeone's home because my kids destroy their house, or other various scenarios.
This is one of those times that my burden is heavy and I need to rely on my Heavenly Father to help carry this burden.
I need him to help make weak things become strong. AS I pass through this challenge of some very difficult children, it is very apparent to me that I have many weaknesses and I need to rely on the Lord to" make his arm bare"
Hopefully tomorrow will be better

2 more makes 8

WE have welcomed two new little princesses to our home. Gabbi and Lele
( names are changed to protect their identity) This brings us to 8 children , although only 7 are at home. They are 2 and almost 4. Giving us two 2yr olds and two 4 yr olds who have the wonderful gift of non stop talking. Now we get it in STEREO!!
Who knew that you could come up with so many questions in 10 minutes?
They can rearrange the toy room in about 5 minutes flat, and successfully transport half of the sandbox onto the back patio.

They are sweet little spirits although challenging at that. It is always amazing to see how damaging the effects of drug and or other things are on these children. Maybe some if it is also the effects of the neglect or abuse as well.
How would it be to be panicked every time your "mom" left the room, not knowing if she was coming back? or to not want to go on the potty, because that is the one thing "they can't make me do". I can control that part of my life!
Sometimes in the thick of breakfast and diapers, shoes& socks on, more diapers , breaking up arguments , teaching to share, and did I say Diapers!! shoes & socks off ,
you stop and just watch their precious little faces and sometimes see pain, but mostly just a child wanting to fit in and belong. To feel safe and loved and accepted.
I pray that Heavenly Father will help us to be able to fill in those voids the best we can.

A precious glimpse

I had the privilege this week of caring for a newborn who was waiting to go to her "forever Family" This young couple had just recently begun their process of adopting and were chosen as one of two couples for this beautiful little girl.
Because of some issues that the baby "may" have due to choices by the birth mother, the other couple was not interested . SO... this cople who have been waiting for a child for five years was able to add this precious little girl to their family. I got to have her in my home and hold her when her mommy couldn't for two days while they waited to get their background checks back for clearance to adopt.
Then was allowed the privilege of giving this little girl to her new parents who will love her and bring her up in a manner that would be pleasing to our HEavenly Father. I know that he is mindful of ALL of his children, and through sometimes strange and miraculous means. It all comes together.

I forgot the earplugs and duct tape

On our weekly trip to wal mart today, we had another of our "fun" trips. Serra could not manage to "stay by the cart" so she kept running into people and things, and even knocking a few things over. Did you know that bottles of shampoo can break open if you knock them on the floor and they hit on the lid?

ME neither?
Abi decided she was done after the trip to the video store when she couldn't rearrange all the shelves, so it wasn't looking good from the start. Now that she is a big two year old, she thinks she can do whatever she wants.
She wanted to hold the pretty tulips we got . Great. maybe she will stay sitting in the cart.
Well she stayed sitting for a few minutes as she proceeded to pull the petals off the pretty Tulips. So we put them in the basket. She proceeded to scream.
Hence the ear plugs!
I am sure everyone in Walmart today thought I was torturing this "cute little thing"
I wasn't really, I just wanted to get the shampoo and a few other things and get out of there.
She proceeded to open the package of raisins and throw anything she could reach on the floor.
Duct tape might of come in handy about now.
While I was looking for the cleaner for the stainless steel, Serra thought she would push Abi around in the cart. Right into the shelves . I straightened that all up and got my cleaner and we headed for the checkout, where Serra ran into a few more people.

WE really are undercover for Candid camera to watch how people can dodge the little girl with their shopping cart. Some people are really good at it, others not so much. Goodness gracious I think it is time to go.
All of our trips to Wal mart are not this eventful, today just seemed to be an exceptional one.

It's trips like this that make me have to remember the cute little things they do. Serra can be such a great little helper, as we see by her feeding baby S even though she could hardly keep her eyes open.
Disclaimer*** I don't actually use Duct tape on my kids,

but earplugs come in handy sometimes!! (Thanks Becky)

Showing affection???

Indulge me for a moment while I contemplate the issue behind why it is that men, (at least some of them anyway) Once they are married, do not feel the need to do special things for their wives.
WE have all the courtship and schmoozing, but once you say I do, all of that ends. The idea that because they are providing for our family should be good enough. I have gotten used to this in some way, as I have learned not to expect these outward showings of affection, but when Mothers day, and birthdays and other holidays come and go, there is always some hope that since it is Valentines day, he will do something that Shows he loves me.
Now let me make a clarification, that I do know he loves me.
HE tells me frequently. Maybe it's just me, but I really like to have flowers once in a while or a card or something that shows I am a priority . It sure does affect ones self esteem, when you feel that you are not important enough to warrant even a card.Even a handmade one would be nice.

I know that they think it is just a marketing gimmick to get people to spend money on Roses and chocolates or whatever. Don't you think that if more men showed this type of affection more often, we wouldn't need to have a holiday to "encourage " them to do it?

Just wondering. Maybe Lucy and Desi or the Cleavers are just an outdated notion.
Well, I guess I will never really understand this? but I need to grow some thicker skin I guess.
I hope you all have a different experience.

backlog

Since I had some time before I have to start my taxi service I figured I would give some of our past history. Since we began taking foster children, we have had 26 children in our home. Some for very brief stays, and some for longer. Our very first placement nearly sent us packing . She was 5 yr old and had already witnessed WAY too much in her young life. Miss M had RAD ( reactive Attachment disorder) I had received just enough training to recognize what it was, but dealing with it in real life was much more difficult than presented. Needless to say, it was a very rough 6 months. One great thing I remember was how the little things can make such a big difference. When Miss M came to us, she had very little. The clothes she had did not even really it her, and since she came in August, she would need clothes for school when it started. We took a trip to various stores where she got to try on lots of things and pick out those she liked. IT was amazing to see how thrilled she was as she would come out of the dressing roomand twirl around in front of the mirror looking at herself. I think she had more fun just trying on all the clothes that day. Sometimes we take for granted those simple things in life that many of these children have never experienced.
WE had Miss E and little S who came to us right before Easter. They had never colored easter eggs before. The H sisters went with us on a motorhome trip to a race and still talk about that when I have run into them . Being able to share our lives and activities with these children is such a joy. To see them kneel down at the coffee table before bed, knowing that we need to say our prayers before we go to bed. or patiently sitting at the table with their sandwich for lunch waiting to say a blessing on the food. To see a parentified little 2 yr old just be able to 'play" and even smile for the first time in weeks. To see MR j learn that he CAN put his own shoes on, and he CAN get dressed is a great blessing to be a part of.
YEs, I am very well aware tat with foster children especially, that "love" doesn't fix everything.
BUT, it consistency, love, caring and determination can move mountains for these children. The safety and structure that we can provide for them is a great source of comfort, even though it make take some time for that to show through.
Now, our experience is with children 5 and under, so it may be different with teens, as it is with my own children who are now teens.
AS I have talked to teens who have been in the system, they all comment how it was those who took an interest in them, that made the most impact.
Well, It is time to resume my taxi service so , so long for now.

Is this supposed to be fun?

Sundays can be somewhat challenging. My husband has to be at meetings at 7 am so that leaves me to round up the troops and make sure they are dressed and pressed and hair done etc. and be there by 8:45 or as in this morning 8:30. Miss A invariably loves to smear her food in her hair, making a very nice spiked hairdo. Miss S has severe mood swings, and can't seem to make it through the morning without a crisis. Today it was the dress I picked out. "It is just too small for her" IT really isn't , but for the sake of my sanity we picked out another dress that would "FIT JUST FINE". MIss A is not much into sitting still or being quiet, so even though we brought books and doodle pads and a box of cheerios, we still can't make it through sacrament meeting without a trip to the foyer. We play musical seats on the pew trying not to be too distracting to those around us, or even the occasional catch the baby under the seat game too.
Life with our foster and adoptive daughters is always an adventure, and sometimes even resembles a circus, but it also provides lots of laughs and great memories.

Sometimes it jusn't doesn't SEEM like alot of fun.

our journey

Our journey started almost six years ago on an early morning walk with my friend Ms. Aimee.

I will spare you all of the long details, but suffice it to say, I arrived in an orientation class for fostering and here we are.

IT has been a bumpy road at times, but the blessings have outweighed the challenges. WE have four wonderful biological children and they have been a part of this from the beginning. You see we are not just "foster parents" we are a "foster family". The children that we are blessed to have come into our home become a part of our "family" WE are not a babysitting service, thus we have to be prayerful and careful about who we bring into our family. We want them to be able to feel a part of our family, and we need to be able to meet the needs of each child that comes to us. IF those two conditions cannot be met, then it is not a good fit, and the long term effects of the child needing to be moved can be very detrimental so we try to make sure we are making the decisions that are best for everyone involved. Each one of these children is a special little child of God and he needs responsible caring people to step up and be a safe and loving place for them to fall.

These children do not have a voice of their own and it is up to us to be that voice for them. We are advocates for these children. We can be advocates for their biological family as well as we work with them to help them regain their children and thus their family.

We have had some very sweet and humbling experiences as we have helped put a family back together. ( I will cover that more later)

Some people say" I don't think I could do that" Do what? Love a child? Give them a safe place to live? Help them with school? teach them some discipline and self respect?

Granted some of these children have MANY issues and may need some therapy and extra interventions, but in my experience with over 20 children is that Heavenly Father will help make up the difference where you may lack. HE will give you insipiration to know what to do to help them. HE will give you the capacity to help those children whom you have been entrusted with. Remember they were His children first, so he is very concerned with their welfare.

This journey has had such a profound effect on our lives, that I felt that we should share it. Maybe it is not something you feel you could do, but maybe it will touch someone who might think"I can do that" "I can help make the difference in a child's life"

You will not regret it.