Expectations... When things don't meet our expectations, that is when we become frustrated.
I keep telling myself this, but when you have a four year old that just makes the choice to poop in her pants instead of on the potty, I have a hard time with that.
She could have just been on the potty 5 minutes before that. I have an expectation, that is not being met, and I am struggling with this.
I have not quite figured out how to turn off the expectations.
I have two two year olds who throw tantrums and have trouble sharing. That is normal behavior and we are dealing with it, but these older ones are more difficult.
I always expect there to be a learning curve, but to stop doing what mommy asks, is pretty basic, and after two weeks we can't seem to figure that out.
YIKES!!! I think I might lose my mind.
I wish I could understand the psychology behind what is going on, maybe it would help me, but for now, I guess I will just vent on my blog , take a deep breath and keep plugging along.
I have another four year old that can't seem to eat without spilling SOMETHING, or can't get through half a day without whining about something, anything.
I know I expect allot from my children, even my foster children. It does them no good to go from an inconsistent environment into another environment with no structure or consistency.
I expect them to be able to go to the grocery store without screaming or destroying the store.
I expect them to learn to behave in a reverent manner at church, to say please and Thank you , put their dishes away when they finish, pick up their toys,follow mommy's directions etc.etc.
Is this unreasonable?
I want them to be able to grow up to be good mannered productive happy people. We have all seen those people who let their kids just run wild, and it affects everyone around them.
I don't want to not feel welcomed to go visiting teaching at somoeone's home because my kids destroy their house, or other various scenarios.
This is one of those times that my burden is heavy and I need to rely on my Heavenly Father to help carry this burden.
I need him to help make weak things become strong. AS I pass through this challenge of some very difficult children, it is very apparent to me that I have many weaknesses and I need to rely on the Lord to" make his arm bare"
Hopefully tomorrow will be better
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What you are doing (so beautifully) is giving them room and love to experience life, to push the envelope, to see whether you mean it or not when you say you love them "no matter what". Children have an incredible knack for this. Sounds like life is in session at your house. Keep up the great work! I like to think of Pres. Hinckley and his wife when things get hard. Pres. Hinckley once said, "In all living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed not just endured." I know Sister Hinckley had a knack for laughing in times of stress. I think of her everytime I have a day like yours.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I tell my kids when they spill something that it happened b/c I just mopped (this happens a lot right after I mop) or b/c I was just about to. Now when they spill they laugh and say, "Mom, did you just mop?" or "Mom, you must need to mop." The laughter dissolves the tension and makes us all more able to deal.