WE faced a tough hill this week with our little Serra. Somehow the conversation came up regarding "coming out of mommy's tummy" Now we have had the adoption discussion before on many occasions, but she still referenced herself as coming out after Kayla.
I explained again that she did not come out of my tummy, but that her mommy could not take care of her and we "chose to have her be part of our family" Usually this pacifies her, and off she goes.
I explained again that she did not come out of my tummy, but that her mommy could not take care of her and we "chose to have her be part of our family" Usually this pacifies her, and off she goes.
This time was different she sat for a moment then said
" My real mommy wouldn't tell me what to do"
My initial reaction was well, this mommy loves you and I will tell you what you need to do.( she is 4 turning 12)
Then today in a session with her PSR ( psycho social rehab counselor) as we were discussing this, she said " you only take care of your real children, not me"
Even though this is not true, it really hurt, that she would feel that way. I am not quite sure how she even gets that, since so much of my time and energy is taken up with her and the other foster kids. I guess I always knew that these types of conversations would come up, and we would have issues to face with her adoption, but I don't think I was quite as prepared as I thought.
We had our last appointment with our adoption worker this week, and hope to get a court date for ABI's adoption in the next 30-45 days. We love her to death, but it is a little scary to approach this again seeing what we have been through with Serra. There is no way to predict the outcome with the drug and alcohol exposure that these children have faced.
In those quiet moments when I ponder all of this, I am reminded that these are Heavenly Fathers precious little spirits that he has sent to us. Not in the traditional way, but he has entrusted them to us, and he has carried us through some very difficult times, and I have to hold on to the faith that he will carry us through any others that we face, because we certainly can't do it alone.
" My real mommy wouldn't tell me what to do"
My initial reaction was well, this mommy loves you and I will tell you what you need to do.( she is 4 turning 12)
Then today in a session with her PSR ( psycho social rehab counselor) as we were discussing this, she said " you only take care of your real children, not me"
Even though this is not true, it really hurt, that she would feel that way. I am not quite sure how she even gets that, since so much of my time and energy is taken up with her and the other foster kids. I guess I always knew that these types of conversations would come up, and we would have issues to face with her adoption, but I don't think I was quite as prepared as I thought.
We had our last appointment with our adoption worker this week, and hope to get a court date for ABI's adoption in the next 30-45 days. We love her to death, but it is a little scary to approach this again seeing what we have been through with Serra. There is no way to predict the outcome with the drug and alcohol exposure that these children have faced.
In those quiet moments when I ponder all of this, I am reminded that these are Heavenly Fathers precious little spirits that he has sent to us. Not in the traditional way, but he has entrusted them to us, and he has carried us through some very difficult times, and I have to hold on to the faith that he will carry us through any others that we face, because we certainly can't do it alone.
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