Indulge me for a moment while I contemplate the issue behind why it is that men, (at least some of them anyway) Once they are married, do not feel the need to do special things for their wives.
WE have all the courtship and schmoozing, but once you say I do, all of that ends. The idea that because they are providing for our family should be good enough. I have gotten used to this in some way, as I have learned not to expect these outward showings of affection, but when Mothers day, and birthdays and other holidays come and go, there is always some hope that since it is Valentines day, he will do something that Shows he loves me.
Now let me make a clarification, that I do know he loves me.
HE tells me frequently. Maybe it's just me, but I really like to have flowers once in a while or a card or something that shows I am a priority . It sure does affect ones self esteem, when you feel that you are not important enough to warrant even a card.Even a handmade one would be nice.
I know that they think it is just a marketing gimmick to get people to spend money on Roses and chocolates or whatever. Don't you think that if more men showed this type of affection more often, we wouldn't need to have a holiday to "encourage " them to do it?
Just wondering. Maybe Lucy and Desi or the Cleavers are just an outdated notion.
Well, I guess I will never really understand this? but I need to grow some thicker skin I guess.
I hope you all have a different experience.
WE have all the courtship and schmoozing, but once you say I do, all of that ends. The idea that because they are providing for our family should be good enough. I have gotten used to this in some way, as I have learned not to expect these outward showings of affection, but when Mothers day, and birthdays and other holidays come and go, there is always some hope that since it is Valentines day, he will do something that Shows he loves me.
Now let me make a clarification, that I do know he loves me.
HE tells me frequently. Maybe it's just me, but I really like to have flowers once in a while or a card or something that shows I am a priority . It sure does affect ones self esteem, when you feel that you are not important enough to warrant even a card.Even a handmade one would be nice.
I know that they think it is just a marketing gimmick to get people to spend money on Roses and chocolates or whatever. Don't you think that if more men showed this type of affection more often, we wouldn't need to have a holiday to "encourage " them to do it?
Just wondering. Maybe Lucy and Desi or the Cleavers are just an outdated notion.
Well, I guess I will never really understand this? but I need to grow some thicker skin I guess.
I hope you all have a different experience.
I can't speak for others, however I come from a family that never was very demonstrative, and still, over 60 years later, have a difficult time showing my feelings. I have tried theraphy and other methods, however it still causes welling of tears in the eyes and a grasping of the throat. Again I am only speaking for myself.
ReplyDeleteI neglected to mention that you are correct that too often TV gives off some strange ideas as to what to expect, but I do occasionally take my wife to dinner alone, spring for roses, or chocolates (which she figures I get for me).
ReplyDeleteYes, as I have heard from my sister in law, it is very much the same with his brother as well. Family history has a lot to do with it I guess. Good for you for taking the time to treat your wife occasionally. I am sure she appreciates it.
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