2 more makes 8

WE have welcomed two new little princesses to our home. Gabbi and Lele
( names are changed to protect their identity) This brings us to 8 children , although only 7 are at home. They are 2 and almost 4. Giving us two 2yr olds and two 4 yr olds who have the wonderful gift of non stop talking. Now we get it in STEREO!!
Who knew that you could come up with so many questions in 10 minutes?
They can rearrange the toy room in about 5 minutes flat, and successfully transport half of the sandbox onto the back patio.

They are sweet little spirits although challenging at that. It is always amazing to see how damaging the effects of drug and or other things are on these children. Maybe some if it is also the effects of the neglect or abuse as well.
How would it be to be panicked every time your "mom" left the room, not knowing if she was coming back? or to not want to go on the potty, because that is the one thing "they can't make me do". I can control that part of my life!
Sometimes in the thick of breakfast and diapers, shoes& socks on, more diapers , breaking up arguments , teaching to share, and did I say Diapers!! shoes & socks off ,
you stop and just watch their precious little faces and sometimes see pain, but mostly just a child wanting to fit in and belong. To feel safe and loved and accepted.
I pray that Heavenly Father will help us to be able to fill in those voids the best we can.

A precious glimpse

I had the privilege this week of caring for a newborn who was waiting to go to her "forever Family" This young couple had just recently begun their process of adopting and were chosen as one of two couples for this beautiful little girl.
Because of some issues that the baby "may" have due to choices by the birth mother, the other couple was not interested . SO... this cople who have been waiting for a child for five years was able to add this precious little girl to their family. I got to have her in my home and hold her when her mommy couldn't for two days while they waited to get their background checks back for clearance to adopt.
Then was allowed the privilege of giving this little girl to her new parents who will love her and bring her up in a manner that would be pleasing to our HEavenly Father. I know that he is mindful of ALL of his children, and through sometimes strange and miraculous means. It all comes together.

I forgot the earplugs and duct tape

On our weekly trip to wal mart today, we had another of our "fun" trips. Serra could not manage to "stay by the cart" so she kept running into people and things, and even knocking a few things over. Did you know that bottles of shampoo can break open if you knock them on the floor and they hit on the lid?

ME neither?
Abi decided she was done after the trip to the video store when she couldn't rearrange all the shelves, so it wasn't looking good from the start. Now that she is a big two year old, she thinks she can do whatever she wants.
She wanted to hold the pretty tulips we got . Great. maybe she will stay sitting in the cart.
Well she stayed sitting for a few minutes as she proceeded to pull the petals off the pretty Tulips. So we put them in the basket. She proceeded to scream.
Hence the ear plugs!
I am sure everyone in Walmart today thought I was torturing this "cute little thing"
I wasn't really, I just wanted to get the shampoo and a few other things and get out of there.
She proceeded to open the package of raisins and throw anything she could reach on the floor.
Duct tape might of come in handy about now.
While I was looking for the cleaner for the stainless steel, Serra thought she would push Abi around in the cart. Right into the shelves . I straightened that all up and got my cleaner and we headed for the checkout, where Serra ran into a few more people.

WE really are undercover for Candid camera to watch how people can dodge the little girl with their shopping cart. Some people are really good at it, others not so much. Goodness gracious I think it is time to go.
All of our trips to Wal mart are not this eventful, today just seemed to be an exceptional one.

It's trips like this that make me have to remember the cute little things they do. Serra can be such a great little helper, as we see by her feeding baby S even though she could hardly keep her eyes open.
Disclaimer*** I don't actually use Duct tape on my kids,

but earplugs come in handy sometimes!! (Thanks Becky)

Showing affection???

Indulge me for a moment while I contemplate the issue behind why it is that men, (at least some of them anyway) Once they are married, do not feel the need to do special things for their wives.
WE have all the courtship and schmoozing, but once you say I do, all of that ends. The idea that because they are providing for our family should be good enough. I have gotten used to this in some way, as I have learned not to expect these outward showings of affection, but when Mothers day, and birthdays and other holidays come and go, there is always some hope that since it is Valentines day, he will do something that Shows he loves me.
Now let me make a clarification, that I do know he loves me.
HE tells me frequently. Maybe it's just me, but I really like to have flowers once in a while or a card or something that shows I am a priority . It sure does affect ones self esteem, when you feel that you are not important enough to warrant even a card.Even a handmade one would be nice.

I know that they think it is just a marketing gimmick to get people to spend money on Roses and chocolates or whatever. Don't you think that if more men showed this type of affection more often, we wouldn't need to have a holiday to "encourage " them to do it?

Just wondering. Maybe Lucy and Desi or the Cleavers are just an outdated notion.
Well, I guess I will never really understand this? but I need to grow some thicker skin I guess.
I hope you all have a different experience.

backlog

Since I had some time before I have to start my taxi service I figured I would give some of our past history. Since we began taking foster children, we have had 26 children in our home. Some for very brief stays, and some for longer. Our very first placement nearly sent us packing . She was 5 yr old and had already witnessed WAY too much in her young life. Miss M had RAD ( reactive Attachment disorder) I had received just enough training to recognize what it was, but dealing with it in real life was much more difficult than presented. Needless to say, it was a very rough 6 months. One great thing I remember was how the little things can make such a big difference. When Miss M came to us, she had very little. The clothes she had did not even really it her, and since she came in August, she would need clothes for school when it started. We took a trip to various stores where she got to try on lots of things and pick out those she liked. IT was amazing to see how thrilled she was as she would come out of the dressing roomand twirl around in front of the mirror looking at herself. I think she had more fun just trying on all the clothes that day. Sometimes we take for granted those simple things in life that many of these children have never experienced.
WE had Miss E and little S who came to us right before Easter. They had never colored easter eggs before. The H sisters went with us on a motorhome trip to a race and still talk about that when I have run into them . Being able to share our lives and activities with these children is such a joy. To see them kneel down at the coffee table before bed, knowing that we need to say our prayers before we go to bed. or patiently sitting at the table with their sandwich for lunch waiting to say a blessing on the food. To see a parentified little 2 yr old just be able to 'play" and even smile for the first time in weeks. To see MR j learn that he CAN put his own shoes on, and he CAN get dressed is a great blessing to be a part of.
YEs, I am very well aware tat with foster children especially, that "love" doesn't fix everything.
BUT, it consistency, love, caring and determination can move mountains for these children. The safety and structure that we can provide for them is a great source of comfort, even though it make take some time for that to show through.
Now, our experience is with children 5 and under, so it may be different with teens, as it is with my own children who are now teens.
AS I have talked to teens who have been in the system, they all comment how it was those who took an interest in them, that made the most impact.
Well, It is time to resume my taxi service so , so long for now.

Is this supposed to be fun?

Sundays can be somewhat challenging. My husband has to be at meetings at 7 am so that leaves me to round up the troops and make sure they are dressed and pressed and hair done etc. and be there by 8:45 or as in this morning 8:30. Miss A invariably loves to smear her food in her hair, making a very nice spiked hairdo. Miss S has severe mood swings, and can't seem to make it through the morning without a crisis. Today it was the dress I picked out. "It is just too small for her" IT really isn't , but for the sake of my sanity we picked out another dress that would "FIT JUST FINE". MIss A is not much into sitting still or being quiet, so even though we brought books and doodle pads and a box of cheerios, we still can't make it through sacrament meeting without a trip to the foyer. We play musical seats on the pew trying not to be too distracting to those around us, or even the occasional catch the baby under the seat game too.
Life with our foster and adoptive daughters is always an adventure, and sometimes even resembles a circus, but it also provides lots of laughs and great memories.

Sometimes it jusn't doesn't SEEM like alot of fun.

our journey

Our journey started almost six years ago on an early morning walk with my friend Ms. Aimee.

I will spare you all of the long details, but suffice it to say, I arrived in an orientation class for fostering and here we are.

IT has been a bumpy road at times, but the blessings have outweighed the challenges. WE have four wonderful biological children and they have been a part of this from the beginning. You see we are not just "foster parents" we are a "foster family". The children that we are blessed to have come into our home become a part of our "family" WE are not a babysitting service, thus we have to be prayerful and careful about who we bring into our family. We want them to be able to feel a part of our family, and we need to be able to meet the needs of each child that comes to us. IF those two conditions cannot be met, then it is not a good fit, and the long term effects of the child needing to be moved can be very detrimental so we try to make sure we are making the decisions that are best for everyone involved. Each one of these children is a special little child of God and he needs responsible caring people to step up and be a safe and loving place for them to fall.

These children do not have a voice of their own and it is up to us to be that voice for them. We are advocates for these children. We can be advocates for their biological family as well as we work with them to help them regain their children and thus their family.

We have had some very sweet and humbling experiences as we have helped put a family back together. ( I will cover that more later)

Some people say" I don't think I could do that" Do what? Love a child? Give them a safe place to live? Help them with school? teach them some discipline and self respect?

Granted some of these children have MANY issues and may need some therapy and extra interventions, but in my experience with over 20 children is that Heavenly Father will help make up the difference where you may lack. HE will give you insipiration to know what to do to help them. HE will give you the capacity to help those children whom you have been entrusted with. Remember they were His children first, so he is very concerned with their welfare.

This journey has had such a profound effect on our lives, that I felt that we should share it. Maybe it is not something you feel you could do, but maybe it will touch someone who might think"I can do that" "I can help make the difference in a child's life"

You will not regret it.