Lasting effects

Today we had a difficult day.
WE had to take Lele in to see a physical therapist for her foot.
Due to some neglect, and subsequent surgeries, so has allot of scarring, limited mobility, and walks only on her toes with that foot.
I can only imagine what is going on in her mind when she sees these doctors, and they try to come near her. Although this therapy place "looked" very fun with lots of toys around , no one "looked " like a doctor, she wanted NOTHING to do with it.
She began to whimper and latched onto my neck for dear life as we waited in the waiting room.
Then as we got out into the therapy center and MS Beth tried to talk to her she began to scream and kick and thrash around. We let her just cry it out and roll on the floor as we tried to show her some toys and calm her down, but it was not working. So that they could even see her foot, I had to literally wrestle with her to get her sock and shoe off . I again tried to just hold her and rock her as she just sobbed. IT was just heart wrenching to see her in such distress.
Even though what we were doing was trying to help her. This went on for over 20 minutes before she finally began to calm down. MS Beth patiently talked to her and tried to get her to relax. As she touched her foot to assess the situation, she again became very agitated.

It's hard to imagine such trauma in a young child's life and the lasting effects of those memories.
An hour later we had made it through, and She got her fruit snack for being so brave.
Now I just have to prepare myself to go through it again as we have to go back next week to be fitted for a brace for her foot. I am sure she will be thrilled.
I just pray Heavenly Father will help to ease the distress for her, and help to heal her tiny heart of all the abuse and neglect.

Do we become blind & deaf??

Have you ever wondered why it is that as soon as you get on the phone, that the children seem to get very loud, and do everything they know they are not supposed to??

Today I actually decided to CALL my sister instead of trying to decipher the code messages off of facebook.
They had been fed and changed and were peacefully( remarkable) playing, so I thought this would be a good time. No sooner had I said Hello when all hell broke loose. Serra is whacking Gabbi with a plastic tube, Lele and Abi are fighting over the dolls.( we only have 6 of them) they decide to run the grand prix circuit around the center of the house, and yell as loud as they can.
Even after excusing myself several times to address this, they then went upstairs and decided to hurl things off the balcony.

I think,... that they think ... we become deaf and blind when we are on the phone!!!

Who knew???

Motherhood is not for Wimps

After looking back over my posts, I realize that I have been kind of whining the last little while. IT is somewhat therapeutic to write in my blog, I can kind of vent about what is going on in my life, but I really don't mean to be so negative.
I saw a t-shirt not long a go that said "Motherhood is not for wimps" Ain't that the truth!! sorry kids" isn't". Anyway....
Most of the time, I seem to handle all that we have going on fairly well, with the occasional bad day, but this new placement has been pretty challenging. As well as add to that, the news last Monday that a very dear friend lost his battle with cancer after 11 months. It is a reminder of how fragile this life is, and that we should take advantage of every precious moment we have .

I am so privileged to be able to attend an institute class by Denae of .http://thebackorderedlife.blogspot.com/ and we talked last week in Philipians 2:13-15 about being blameless and harmless. This was such a great discussion for me of how important it is that we are good stewards of our actions. We may be "right", but that does not give us the license to be vengeful or spiteful, or mean.
AS I am usually "right" at my house.( Just ask my husband) I can sometimes be so caught up in being right that I am not charitable towards those who are in the wrong. IT is a classic example of reminding myself "what would Jesus do".

So that being said Mothers, when your teenager comes home with an F and a D on their report card, we can find that charitable side and help them find a better homework and study plan instead of giving the 1 hr long , finger pointing," I told you" lecture. OR when your four yr old has an accident in their pants for the 7Th time today we can go take a breather, and go change it and show them where the bathroom is one more time, in case they forgot.
Wimps... I think not.

I hate saturdays!!

I am escaping to my office from the usual saturday drudgery.
"Saturday is a special day it's the day we get ready for sunday"
It doesn't feel very special to me. Almost every saturday my husband is gone as usual, so I am left to do the chore wars. I have made charts, tried incentives, threatened and even cried, and most of the time it is the same. Adding little ones into the mix is certainly not helping I do admit.
The older ones are getting better, it's just the" let's see if she doesn't notice that I didn't clean the bottom of the toilet . You only sit on the seat right" or "I didn't know I had to empty that trash too? "
But trying to teach toddlers and four year olds to pick up their toys is a true lesson in patience, of which I do not seem to have much these days. IT is only 11 am and I have changed 5 poopy diapers (& pullups) fixed crepes, cleaned up a glass of milk off the floor, refereed two arguments, paid the payroll taxes I forgot to pay, reminded them for the fourth time that they have to vacuum their room too, answered some emails, cleaned my bathroom, started the laundry to wash the poopy clothes from the four year old who won't go on the potty and watered my plants. Stake conference is this weekend, and since it is a regional broadcast affecting the whole valley, there are no babysitters available, and I won't even be able to attend that tonight.
Does anyone have any good suggestions as to how to make Saturdays more enjoyable yet still teach my children the value of work and helping to maintain our home?

Frustration is a function of our expectations

Expectations... When things don't meet our expectations, that is when we become frustrated.

I keep telling myself this, but when you have a four year old that just makes the choice to poop in her pants instead of on the potty, I have a hard time with that.
She could have just been on the potty 5 minutes before that. I have an expectation, that is not being met, and I am struggling with this.
I have not quite figured out how to turn off the expectations.
I have two two year olds who throw tantrums and have trouble sharing. That is normal behavior and we are dealing with it, but these older ones are more difficult.
I always expect there to be a learning curve, but to stop doing what mommy asks, is pretty basic, and after two weeks we can't seem to figure that out.
YIKES!!! I think I might lose my mind.
I wish I could understand the psychology behind what is going on, maybe it would help me, but for now, I guess I will just vent on my blog , take a deep breath and keep plugging along.

I have another four year old that can't seem to eat without spilling SOMETHING, or can't get through half a day without whining about something, anything.
I know I expect allot from my children, even my foster children. It does them no good to go from an inconsistent environment into another environment with no structure or consistency.
I expect them to be able to go to the grocery store without screaming or destroying the store.
I expect them to learn to behave in a reverent manner at church, to say please and Thank you , put their dishes away when they finish, pick up their toys,follow mommy's directions etc.etc.
Is this unreasonable?
I want them to be able to grow up to be good mannered productive happy people. We have all seen those people who let their kids just run wild, and it affects everyone around them.
I don't want to not feel welcomed to go visiting teaching at somoeone's home because my kids destroy their house, or other various scenarios.
This is one of those times that my burden is heavy and I need to rely on my Heavenly Father to help carry this burden.
I need him to help make weak things become strong. AS I pass through this challenge of some very difficult children, it is very apparent to me that I have many weaknesses and I need to rely on the Lord to" make his arm bare"
Hopefully tomorrow will be better