As I reflect over the last 5 1/2 years of fostering, I realize how busy I have been. Some days, I really just want to go sit down and read a good book, or sit outside on the swing and enjoy the beautiful surroundings.( I don't have a swing anymore, so I guess that doesn't matter anyway)
When we were commanded to be "anxiously engaged in a good cause" I think I took that very literally.
For instance tomorrow my day will probably start about 5:30 am when Mr J and Abi decide to get up with the roosters. I will try and convince them it is still night time and they need to go back to sleep, but I don't think they will buy it since it is getting light by then. WE will do breakfast and feed the baby and get everyone ready so we can be at Piano by 8:45 then go back to pick them up and drop off Tyler and Kayla to get Kyle to the Dentist by 10. We have to hope the dentist is on time because we have to be back in time for occupational therapy for Mr J and Serra by 11:45. WE will make lunch some time in there get a grouchy Abi down for a nap along with the baby. We will finish with that at about 2 just in time to Rush Tyler off to his rehearsal that starts at 2. Then take Mr J and Kayla to the dentist at 3.
Yes, the same one we were at this morning, although I choose not to take 7 kids to the dentist at the same time so we split it up.
Hopefully we will be home by 5. Maybe it will be pizza for dinner.
Kyle then has to be to scouts by 6:30 and Tyler has to be picked up by 8. We will squeeze in a few baths, and when is it NAP TIME??? Oh I forgot Kyle has to be picked up from scouts.
I hope this doesn't scare anyone away from this wonderful adventure. Your schedule could be entirely different.
WE just happen to have 7 kids at home . Even though they each only have a few things, a few times 7 is ALOT!!! We have some very bright and talented kids and it is important to allow them to pursue their dreams and passions . It allows them to learn a good work ethic, commitment and time management.
It is also important for the children we take in, to do everything in our power to help them normalize and stabilize form the trauma they have experienced. Usually it is temporary as they progress. So we just try to hang on and enjoy the ride. sometimes you just get them stabilized in time to move on, and then you start over with the next ones.
It is probably one of the most difficult things we have done, but also the most rewarding.
These are precious little spirits that Heavenly Father needs someone to help where he can't.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The unseen wounds
When someone has a broken leg, or arm or some outward ailment, you can see the wound and act accordingly. You can see the trauma evidently. With so many of the children we deal with , and many in life I am sure , this is not the case.
From the outside they look perfectly "normal" What is that anyway??
The damage and deep wounds from trauma are very lasting.
I recently took a training on the effects of domestic violence on the fetuses of abused women.
Of course it makes perfect sense. WE play music for our children in utero right?? So why would they not be aware of the abuse that was happening to ...them . Sometimes it is things they have seen as they were a little older. Sometimes it is the effects of all the substances they were exposed to. Whatever the abuse or neglect, it has lasting effects.
The challenge for us, is to give them the support and love they need to get through it, or sometimes just deal with it.
WE have to change our mindset to see them as a child that has lots of "hurts and owies" even though the bandages are not visible.
Many of us as adults carry similar hurts that we cover well too. Well, maybe not always...
Have you ever had the grouchy check out clerk??
The lady in the doctors office we just can't seem to get a handle on her kids??
Maybe they have some wounds that we can't see. Maybe they are dealing with some challenges.
Heavenly father taught us that unconditional perfect love that we should extend to others. Instead of judging them, is there something you can do to help?
Maybe a smile??
Having these children is a great challenge sometimes. It is hard to understand why they behave the way they do. It's hard to be patient sometimes, or maybe lots of times, but we just have to keep trying. We have to be open to the promptings to find answers.
Maybe those answers will come form within, and maybe they will come from finding the right individuals( therapists, doctors etc.) who can help mend the broken pieces.
From the outside they look perfectly "normal" What is that anyway??
The damage and deep wounds from trauma are very lasting.
I recently took a training on the effects of domestic violence on the fetuses of abused women.
Of course it makes perfect sense. WE play music for our children in utero right?? So why would they not be aware of the abuse that was happening to ...them . Sometimes it is things they have seen as they were a little older. Sometimes it is the effects of all the substances they were exposed to. Whatever the abuse or neglect, it has lasting effects.
The challenge for us, is to give them the support and love they need to get through it, or sometimes just deal with it.
WE have to change our mindset to see them as a child that has lots of "hurts and owies" even though the bandages are not visible.
Many of us as adults carry similar hurts that we cover well too. Well, maybe not always...
Have you ever had the grouchy check out clerk??
The lady in the doctors office we just can't seem to get a handle on her kids??
Maybe they have some wounds that we can't see. Maybe they are dealing with some challenges.
Heavenly father taught us that unconditional perfect love that we should extend to others. Instead of judging them, is there something you can do to help?
Maybe a smile??
Having these children is a great challenge sometimes. It is hard to understand why they behave the way they do. It's hard to be patient sometimes, or maybe lots of times, but we just have to keep trying. We have to be open to the promptings to find answers.
Maybe those answers will come form within, and maybe they will come from finding the right individuals( therapists, doctors etc.) who can help mend the broken pieces.
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